Robinson Crusoe

A poem by William F. Kirk

Maester Robinson Crusoe ban lonely old faller
Who ban on an island gude long time ago;
His friends all ban lost in a yolly big shipwreck;
But Robinson alvays ban lucky, yu know.
He get on dis island, and can't get avay,
"By yiminy," say Crusoe, "ay tenk ay skol stay!"

Von day some cannibals com to dis island,
And brenging some frends just to make little stew.
Dese frends dey ant lak to be made into cooking,
And von faller dodge dis har cannibal crew.
His name it ban Friday. He ban a gude coon,
And Crusoe and he start to eat from same spoon.

Dey have lots of fun on dis har desert island,
Dey play seven up and casino, ay tenk;
And Crusoe put on a nice bar-tender's apron,
And taught Maester Friday to mix a gude drenk.
Dey get kind o' used to dis old desert isle,
And get 'long togedder qvite gude for a vile.

But Friday ban coon, and yu know dese coon fallers
Ban looking for tips yust so sharp sum dey can.
So Friday yust tal Maester Robinson Crusoe,
"Ay tenk, Maester Crusoe, yu ban a cheap man."
Den he yump into ocean, and svim yust lak hal,
And Robinson Crusoe ban losing his pal.

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