The Heavy Dragoon.

A poem by William Schwenck Gilbert

If you want a receipt for that popular mystery
Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon,
Take all the remarkable people in history,
Rattle them off to a popular tune!
The pluck of Lord Nelson on board of the Victory
Genius of Bismarck devising a plan;
The humor of Fielding (which sounds contradictory)
Coolness of Paget about to trepan
The grace of Mozart, that unparalleled musico
Wit of Macaulay, who wrote of Queen Anne
The pathos of Paddy, as rendered by Boucicault
Style of the Bishop of Sodor and Man
The dash of a D'Orsay, divested of quackery
Narrative powers of Dickens and Thackeray
Victor Emmanuel peak-haunting Peveril
Thomas Aquinas, and Doctor Sacheverell
Tupper and Tennyson Daniel Defoe
Anthony Trollope and Mister Guizot!

Take of these elements all that are fusible,
Melt them all down in a pipkin or crucible,
Set them to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!

If you want a receipt for this soldierlike paragon,
Get at the wealth of the Czar (if you can)
The family pride of a Spaniard from Arragon
Force of Mephisto pronouncing a ban
A smack of Lord Waterford, reckless and rollicky
Swagger of Roderick, heading his clan
The keen penetration of Paddington Pollaky
Grace of an Odalisque on a divan
The genius strategic of C├Žsar or Hannibal
Skill of Lord Wolseley in thrashing a cannibal
Flavor of Hamlet the Stranger, a touch of him
Little of Manfred, (but not very much of him)
Beadle of Burlington Richardson's show;
Mr. Micawber and Madame Tussaud!

Take of these elements all that are fusible,
Melt them all down in a pipkin or crucible,
Set them to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!

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