Poems by Oliver Herford

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A USE-FUL les-son you may con,
The Kitten mews outside the Door,
SEE, chil-dren, the mis-guid-ed Mole.
THE Pen-guin sits up-on the shore
SEE, chil-dren, the Fur-bear-ing Seal;
It's very nice to think of how
THE con-sci-en-tious art-ist tries
A's Albert Edward, well meaning but flighty,
AN Arc-tic Hare we now be-hold.
A Birdie cocked his little head,
THIS is an Os-trich. See him stand:
When I grow up I mean to be
'Tis very comforting to know
I'd best beware how I make free
Dear Reader, should you chance to go
And now comes Dr. Eliot stating
Columbus is an easy one
I love to picture Daniel Frohman
If you should ask me, whether Dante
Behold Belasco in his den,
When People think that Kittens play,
In things like this I've always tried
Up into the Cherry Tree,
Kittens large and Kittens small,
When Plain Folk, such as you or I,
Somehow I always like to think
The very name of Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw--Oh, yes, I know
Unless I'm very much misled,
Kittens, you are very little,
I like Marconi best to see
When Hafiz saw the portrait free,
The world is so full of a number of Mice
I once drew Ibsen, looking bored
Here's looking
From Hiram Maxim's hair you'd think
When Paderewski is forgot,
At evening when the lamp is lit,
This picture though it is not much
I'm told the Artist who aspires
In Rome, when Morgan came to town,
Few faces interest me less
For Perfect Form there are but few
Here's Sargent doing the Duchess X
When Human Folk put out the light,
How did Medusa do her hair?
I like to draw Napoleon best
Oh, Editor, Editor,
The ancients made no end of fuss
By the Harp
The rain is raining everywhere,
I seem to see a Shining One,
It saddens me to think Saint Paul
Will Shakespeare, the Baconians say,
EV-ER-Y child who has the use
Here's to the man who invented stairs
MY child, ob-serve the use-ful Ant,
OB-SERVE the Cat up-on this page.
The Centaur led a double life:
You'd think a lion or a snake
CHIL-DREN, be-hold the Chim-pan-zee:
If you will listen to advice
The Dog is black or white or brown
HERE is the Dog. Since time be-gan,
The Dolphin was, if you should wish
Here's to the Dove of Peace!
This is the El-e-phant, who lives
Here's to the floor,
OB-SERVE, my child, the House-hold Fly,
Watching a ball on the end of a string,
The Gargoyle often makes its perch
SEE the Gi-raffe; he is so tall
Great is the Golden Cat who treads
It chanced that Allah, looking round,
They certainly contrived to raise
"OH, say, what is this fearful, wild
The Hydra Hercules defied,
Biologists are prone to sniff
To call a Jinn the only thing
When Mistress Peggy moves around,
THIS is the Le-o-pard, my child;
The Lion does not move at all,
Although a Fishwife in a sense,
The Gentle Milk Jug blue and white
No book of monsters is complete
THIS, Chil-dren, is the famed Mon-goos.
The Moon is like a big round cheese
My Bed is like a little Bark,
The Lord forgive if we transgress
The Ph[oe]nix was, as you might say,
OH, turn not from the hum-ble Pig,
MY child, the Duck-billed Plat-y-pus
When I was just a Kitten small,
The Puppy cannot mew or talk,
SO this is the Rhi-no-ce-ros!
Wake! for the Golden Cat has put to flight
The Salamander made his bed
The Satyr lived in times remote,
O wondrous worm that won the Height
There's a funny little kitten that tries to look like me,
The Siren may be said to be
The Sloth en-joys a life of Ease;
JANUARY
She was half Lady and half cat--
The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort.
When Human Folk at Table eat,
OH, yes, the Wolf is bad, it's true;
THIS is the Yak, so neg-li-gée:
The ways of Providence are odd.
Fashion! Lovely Dame!
Here's to her shadow!
Here's to Hope,
Here's to our Goddess, Liberty,
Here's to Music,
A health to King Neptune,
Here's to Lady Nicotine!
Here's to our Readers, Health! good Looks!
To our Sweethearts and Wives,
Here's to stern Critics!
Here's to temptation!
Here's to the Clock!
Here's to the Creditor,
Here's to the maid with Fancy Free;
To The Publisher! - Drink!
Here's to the Typewriter!
We drink your health, O Waiter!
Not squirrels in the park alone
I'm sorry William Taft is out
In Winter when the air is chill,

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