Yuba Bill, Driver
Look how the upland plunges into cover,
Green where the pines fade sullenly away.
Wonderful those olive depths! and wonderful, moreover
The red dust that rises in a suffocating way.
Small is the soul that cannot soar above it,
Cannot but cling to its ever-kindred clay:
Better be yon bird, that seems to breathe and love it
Doubtless a hawk or some other bird of prey.
Were we, like him, as sure of a dinner
That on our stomachs would comfortably stay;
Or were the fried ham a shade or two just thinner,
That must confront us at closing of the day:
Then might you sing like Theocritus or Virgil,
Then might we each make a metrical essay;
But verse just now I must protest and urge ill
Fits a digestion by travel led astray.
Chorus of Passengers
Speed, Yuba Bill! oh, speed us to our dinner!
Speed to the sunset that beckons far away.
William of Yuba, O Son of Nimshi, hearken!
Check thy profanity, but not thy chariot’s play.
Tell us, O William, before the shadows darken,
Where, and, oh! how we shall dine? O William, say!
It ain’t my fault, nor the Kumpeney’s, I reckon,
Ye can’t get ez square meal ez any on the Bay,
Up at you place, whar the senset ’pears to beckon
Ez thet sharp allows in his airy sort o’ way.
Thar woz a place wor yer hash ye might hev wrestled,
Kept by a woman ez chipper ez a jay
Warm in her breast all the morning sunshine nestled;
Red on her cheeks all the evening’s sunshine lay.
Praise is but breath, O chariot compeller!
Yet of that hash we would bid you farther say.
Thar woz a snipe like you, a fancy tourist
Kem to that ranch ez if to make a stay,
Ran off the gal, and ruined jist the purist
Critter that lived
You’re a liar, driver!
Yuba Bill (reaching for his revolver).
Here take my lines, somebody
Chorus of Passengers
Hush, boys! listen!
Inside there’s a lady! Remember! No affray!
Ef that man lives, the fault ain’t mine or his’n.
Wait for the sunset that beckons far away,
Then as you will! But, meantime, friends, believe me,
Nowhere on earth lives a purer woman; nay,
If my perceptions do surely not deceive me,
She is the lady we have inside to-day.
As for the man you see that blackened pine tree,
Up which the green vine creeps heavenward away!
He was that scarred trunk, and she the vine that sweetly
Clothed him with life again, and lifted
Yes; but pray
How know you this?
She’s my wife.
The h-ll you say!